


Magnus Bane's After-Party

by PeetasAndHerondales



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hush Hush Saga - Becca Fitzpatrick, Infernal Devices - Cassandra Clare, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Multiple Crossovers, Parody, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 12:12:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeetasAndHerondales/pseuds/PeetasAndHerondales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Magnus Bane decides to host a crazy after party with some extremely unusual guests? Read and find out! Contains characters from the Hunger Games, Hush, hush, Infernal Devices, and Mortal Instruments. Rated M for crude and sexual humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Truth or Dare

_ **Chapter 1: Truth or Dare** _

Magnus Bane said good-bye to his guests and led them out the door. It was two-thirty in the morning and nearly everyone was already plowed.  _They just can't handle my drinks,_  he thought cheerfully. He wanted to make sure everyone was out of his house before they all started puking all over his carpet. As soon as everybody that was mostly hammered left, he turned around to attend to his left-over guests. There was still Clary, Simon, Alec, Jace, Isabelle, Will, Tessa, Jem, Jessamine, Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Patch, and Nora. Fourteen guests, most of them shadowhunters and mundanes, with two downwordlers and one Guardian Angel named Patch. He was anything but an angel, though.

"I'm bored, let's do something inappropriate!" exclaimed Will, who looked very drunk.

"I agree with Will, let's do something dirty and uncalled for," responded Patch while winking at his mundane girlfriend, Nora, who seemed very displeased.

"I know, let's play Truth or Dare!" suggested Jace while sipping from a glass that contained a mysterious blue drink in it.

"Oh, yes, let's do that, it sounds like fun!" agrees Clary.

"Alright, then, does everyone agree with that?" asks Magnus.

Everyone more or less agreed, some simply shrugging or rolling their eyes to the ceiling.

"Come on, guys, it'll be fun!" Alec assured them as he explained the rules of the game to everyone who didn't know how to play.

"Good, then how about we split everyone into teams so that the game goes by faster and the team that wins gets a prize?" suggests Magnus.

"What's the prize?" ask Gale and Isabelle at the same time.

"It's a  _sur-prize_." responds Magnus as he grins evilly, his smile reaching all the way to his malicious cat-eyes.

"Fine, whatever, let's play!" says Jessamine impatiently.

Everyone crowded around in a circle excitedly as Magnus appointed the teams.

"I want to be in Katniss' team!" requested Peeta.

"Now, now,  _I'll_ be the one to decide. Okay, so Peeta, you, Simon, and Jem will be the Sissies"

"What! No Way! That's not fair!" all three boys protest.

Everybody else laughs but some of the girls frown.

"That's not very nice." says Clary.

"What's a sissy?" asks Tessa.

"I hardly think that's an appropriate team name." adds Katniss.

"I agree with Katniss and Clary." says Alec.

"Who cares, it's hilarious!" exclaimed Will. Jem glared at him. Will was too drunk to notice.

"Yeah, well it's MY house and MY after party so we're doing things MY way." said Magnus. "And if you don't like it, too bad. Now, Will, Jace, and Patch will be the Womanizers."

The three boys cheered and high-fived each other as everyone else groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Clary, Tessa, and Nora will be the Shy Girls; Gale, Isabelle, and Jessamine will be the Show-Offs; and Alec, Katniss, and I will be the Leaders, understand?" commanded Magnus.

"Those are some really stupid team names, and I'm not a show-off!" Gale protested. Isabelle and Jessamine agree with him, but nobody seemed to care.

"Right, whatever, let's get this over with, as the leaders, we'll decide who goes first. Womanizers, truth, or dare?" asked Magnus.

They all say Dare.

Magnus chuckles and says "Alright then, I dare you three to go give those virginal Sissies a blow job each."

"Wait, a minute, you didn't even consult with us!" exclaim Alec and a very outraged Katniss.

"Sure, we'll do it!" say the Womanizers eagerly.

"But I don't want a blow job!" says Simon.

"Yeah, that's disgusting." agrees Jem.

"I was saving myself for Katniss!" Peeta adds.

Katniss blushes at this as everybody else snickers.

"What's a blow job?" asks Tessa.

" A great way to get an orgasm." responds Will.

"What's an orgasm?" Tessa asks again.

"Oh, that's enough! All of you, shut up and do the dare already!" exclaims Magnus as everybody else snickers at Tessa's ignorance.

"Fine, I'll do Peeta, Will can do Simon, and Jace can do Jem." says Patch.

"Let's go to the closet!" says Jace.

Both of the male teams head to the closet (some rather grudgingly) and lock themselves in Magnus' large living room coat closet.

Everybody else listened quietly and after a few minutes they began to hear some odd sounds...okay, more like moaning and cuss words.

"Did Peeta just say the F-word?" asked Katniss, who seemed taken aback at the thought that her sweet and innocent Peeta was being corrupted in there.

"I think I heard Simon moan." Clary commented.

"No way, that was Jem." said Isabelle.

Suddenly, all six boys came out of the closet (haha), the Womanizers grinning smugly and the Sissies looking like they were about to be sick. Peeta looked like he had just been raped, while he, Simon, and Jem held on to their crotches as if somebody were about to ask them to go back in the closet.

"Well, that went well." said Alec and Gale sarcastically.

"Oh, Peeta!" said Katniss exasperated.

"Poor Jem!" added Tessa, who still didn't know what a blow job was but had the feeling that it couldn't be good.

"Did you like that, Simon?" joked Isabelle.

Some people laughed, while others, (like Simon) simply blushed at Isabelle's blazenness.

As soon as everybody sat down again, Magnus called the next team. This time, it was the Sissies' turn to ask the Womanizers a question or make them do a dare. Surely they would want revenge...


	2. Truth Be Told

_ **  
**_

"Alright, now it's the Sissies' turn." said Magnus.

"Wait a minute, no it's not, and it's OUR turn, because we're before them!" exclaimed the Womanizers.

"Oh, that's right, I'm sorry, I said it backwards! The Womanizers can ask the question to the Sissies and then the Sissies can ask the Shy Girls and so on and so forth. Continue, on then." said Magnus.

"Truth or Dare?" the Womanizers ask the Sissies.

They all chose truth.

The Womanizers laugh and Will says "Alright, you cowards, we already know the answer to this question but we just want to hear it again. What did you honestly think about that blowjob, did you enjoy it?"

Everyone else either gasped or chuckled at this.

"Actually, it wasn't all that bad." admitted Jem.

"Jem!" exclaimed Tessa horrified, who now knew what a blowjob was thanks to Clary and Nora.

"I tried to imagine it was Katniss so I wouldn't be so freaked out about it, but it still felt like rape, Patch is too provocative….and not in a good way." explained Peeta.

"Freaking Will bit me, that bastard obviously has a thing for vampires!" added Simon indignantly.

"Actually, you're the third vampire he bites." said Jem.

"Great, we're going to have to use holy water again!" said Tessa.

"I didn't bite him, it was just a little nibble, surely that won't turn me?" asks Will.

"I don't know, but we can't take any chances." explained Magnus.

"Why do you have to be such a freak, Will?" Jessamine accused.

Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Can't we finish this game first?" asks Jace.

"Fine, we'll let the Sissies ask the Shy Girls a question first but then if Will starts to look sick we'll stop the game and put him in the bathtub." ordered Magnus.

"Truth or Dare?" Peeta asks the Shy Girls.

"Truth" they all say.

"Tell us an embarrassing fact about your boyfriends." said Simon.

The Womanizers protested while everyone else laughed.

"Well, Jace likes to sing "Man, I Feel like a Woman" in the shower." Clary said innocently.

"Hey, I only did that once because it was stuck in my head!" protested Jace while everybody else laughed at him.

"Patch says dirty things in his sleep." Nora added blushing.

"What sorts of things?" Jem asked curiously.

"That's none of your business and beside the point!" Patch exclaimed.

"Well, Will talks to his imaginary friend named Big Willy." Tessa remarked.

"He's not imaginary!" shouted Will.

"Wait a minute, isn't Big Willy what you call your manhood?" Jem pointed out.

"Gross, you named your reproductive system?" Simon asked.

"Hey, I call mine King Cobra!" said Gale proudly as he ran his hand up Jessamine's thigh, who had been outrageously flirting with him this whole time.

"Eeew get a room!" Isabelle whispered at them.

"Peeta named his Bosco Stick." said Katniss while rolling her eyes.

"Hey this isn't about me!" said Peeta defensively as the others roared into laughter.

"Well, Katniss, your favorite bread  _does_  have cheese in it." Gale pointed out smirking.

"That's a different type of bread!" Peeta exclaimed.

"I'm starting to feel sick." said Will, who was looking rather pale.

"Quick, we need to get him holy water!" Magnus ordered, as everybody else stopped arguing about bread and nicknames.

"I'll go fetch it, Jem, get him in the tub!" ordered Alec.

"I'll help." said Jace as he stood up.

"I guess we'll have to stop the game for a while." said Katniss.

"And it was just getting good!" said Gale as he waited along with everyone else for Will to get his holy water treatment.

"Yeah, it was our turn to give you guys a dare!" said Nora.

"Oh, I need to go check on Will to make sure he's alright!" exclaimed Tessa, who seemed exasperated.

"Good idea; you do that, we'll wait here." responded Clary.


	3. Devious Dares

Will Herondale walked into Magnus Bane's impeccably white guest bathroom and got in the ivory bathtub fully clothed without turning on the faucet. Magnus, Jem, and Jace were trying to make him sit still as Alec poured the burning holy water over him. It wasn't that the water was hot; it was just that it burned his blood as he struggled against the vampire change.

"Stop! No more! I'll never bite another vampire again, I swear! Leave me alone, you bastards!" Will cried in protest.

"You should have thought of that before, you idiot!" said Jem hotly.

"Stay still, for crying out loud!" Magnus ordered him. "You're spilling water all over my bathroom!"

"Is everything alright?" asked Tessa as she appeared behind the doorway.

"Your stupid boyfriend won't cooperate." Answered Jace as he tried to hold Will down, soaking his clothes in the process.

"Why don't you stay with him, Tessa?" Alec suggested.

"Yes, that worked last time if I remember correctly," said Jem.

"Well why didn't you say so?" Magnus asked. "We'll leave Tessa here to deal with him, and I'll attend to my guests."

"Good idea." Said Jace, and all four men left the bathroom, leaving Tessa and Will alone before any of them could protest.

"Since when am I your boyfriend?" asked Will as they shut the door behind Tessa. "Is this your way of saying you accept my last offer?" he prodded cockily.

"Absolutely not!" responded an outraged Tessa. "I came here to help; and they're mistaken about us, but I don't care enough about it to explain our relationship, or lack thereof." She added.

"You're lying, you're here because you want me, and you respond to me being called your boyfriend because you like it and you wish it was true, Tess." He said grinning.

"Oh, shut up, and take your treatment!" Tessa exclaimed as she poured another bucket of holy water over his head. She watched him as he screwed his eyes shut in pain beneath the cascade of water and was grateful that he hadn't seen her blush. Yes, she wanted him to love her, but not in the way that he wanted. What he was suggesting was outrageous, and he was insane if he thought that she was  _that_ type of girl.

"Please, no more, Tess." He begged her as he ran his hands through his handsome face.

"I have to do this until you're cured." She explained.

"Alright, tell you what. I dare you to kiss me, and if you don't like it, you can keep pouring water over my head; but if you do, you'll leave me alone to fend for myself." He whispered honestly, his blue eyes bearing deeply and brutally into hers.

Tessa swallowed nervously as she contemplated what he was asking of her. Did she want to kiss him? Of course she did, but he didn't need to know that. She didn't  _want_  him to know, and, more importantly, she didn't want him to fend for himself. This is exactly how it had happened last time, and she didn't want it to happen again.

"I don't wish to kiss you, Will Herondale," she said indignantly, "so you'll just have to let me help you."

"Oh, but you  _do_ , Tess, you just want to admit it." He said as he pulled her closer until her face was right in front of his, and he forced his lips upon hers.

At once, Tessa tried to pull away, but she couldn't, his grip was too tight, and he had called her Tess. Nobody else called her that, not even her brother. And this time, his lips didn't taste like blood, although there was still the taste of holy water in his tongue. She moaned against his lips as she curled her fists into his wet hair, his hands pulling her closer.

All of a sudden, somebody walked into the bathroom and yelled in surprise.

Tessa instantly pulled away as Will released his firm grip on her, and she turned around to see who it was. It was Gale. At first, she was blushing in embarrassment, but then she realized that it was Gale who was embarrassed as Will let out a roar of laughter.

Gale was dressed up as a woman.

He was wearing a red cocktail dress and matching heels and a purse; even his lipstick was red, and what was more, he looked lovely with his long red curly wig. Basically, he looked like a travesty, and a very good-looking one at that.

"Oh, Miss Hawthorne, there are you are!" exclaimed a cheerful Isabelle as she and a giggling Jessamine walked in behind Gale while wearing black tuxedos with bows and top hats, and even carrying a black-and-white cane each.

"What is going on?" asked Tessa, confused.

"We were dared to dress up as the opposite sex by the rest of your team," groaned Gale. "And I was just about to wipe off my makeup when I saw you two going at it in the bathtub. I forgot you two were here."

"Oh, but it was so much fun!" protested Jessamine.

"Yeah, and it took us forever to do your makeup! How could you forget that Will was here with his Tessa? It seems that everyone around here is going at it," Isabelle added while rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"Well, Tessa was just leaving, so she can join the game now. I'm afraid I'll have to spend the rest of the evening here. Oh, and by the way, you look provokingly sexy, Gale," Said Will winking at him.

"Shut up, Will!" shouted Gale angrily.

"And I am most certainly  _not_ leaving!" protested Tessa.

"Yes, you are, because you liked the kiss; don't you agree, Gale?" asked Will.

"Whatever," said Gale as he scowled at Will.

"Well you seem quite red, Tessa," said Jessamine,

"Which is disgusting, because he must have tasted like Simon's you-know-what," Said Isabelle.

"No, I don't know what," Responded Tessa.

"Oh, never you mind!" said Gale. "I'll just go to the other bathroom."

"You can't, you have to look like that for the rest of the game, that was the deal!" said Isabelle.

"Sorry, lover boy, but those are the rules," Jessamine added grinning.

Gale groaned as Will continued to laugh.

"Don't laugh, you're the one who bit Simon, you sick bastard!" exclaimed Gale.

"Come on, Tessa, we'll explain everything to you and you can continue to play the game with us instead of kissing this sick perv," suggested Isabelle.

"Fine, I'll go with you," agreed Tessa, who wasn't so sure she wanted Will's ill company anymore.

So off they went, back to the living room, with an angry Gale wobbling behind them in his ridiculous high heels, leaving Will alone in the bathroom.

"Oh, you're back!" said Magnus to the four of them as they sat back down. "It's time for the Show-offs to give us our dare!" he exclaimed ebulliently.

"Oh, great," said Katniss, who had been laughing at Gale this whole time and was now afraid of his opportunity for revenge.

Meanwhile, Nora and Clary explained to Tessa that they had continued the game as soon as Magnus had come back, and that her kissing Will after he had bitten Simon was not a good idea, considering the place where he had bitten him. Tessa considered this and began to feel sick, not sure if she wanted to see the rest of the game.

So far, she knew only that she wanted to puke and slap Will's face for his disgusting advances. And that the game was just getting "good." She couldn't wait for it to be over.


	4. Streaking in the Dark

"Well, what will it be? Truth or dare?" Gale asked the Leaders.

"Dare!" Magnus, Alec, and Katniss exclaimed.

Isabelle smirked. "We dare you guys to go streaking around the whole block."

"What?" Katniss asked, confused.

"She wants us to run around naked in the neighborhood." Alec explained.

"She won't do it, she's too shy." Peeta taunted.

"Oh, yes she will, because we're going to win this game!" Magnus proclaimed.

"We'll see about that!" Jessamine and Will exclaimed, and then glared at each other.

"Alright, let's see it, then!" challenged Patch.

So then Magnus, Alec, and Katniss began taking their clothes off in front of everybody.

"I don't want to see this!" exclaimed Tessa, horrified.

"Cover your eyes, then, we'll do it with you." Nora and Clary said.

As soon as the leaders had removed the rest of their clothing, they ran toward the door trying to cover their respective body parts while everybody else followed behind them.

"You need to run at least an entire mile, good luck!" Gale teased as Katniss gave him one last look of complete and utter hatred before she began running behind the rest of her teammates into the night air. The rest of the group stood outside the door to watch them.

"You know, the New York City lights make it pretty easy for us to see everything." Jace noted as he watched Magnus Bane run around freely with his hands pointing toward the sky.

Everyone laughed in agreement (except for the Shy Girls, who were still covering their chaste eyes).

"Poor Alec seems mortified!" Jem added as he watched Alec run with his hands covering his crotch.

"What are you staring at, Gale?" Peeta asked suspiciously as Gale followed Katniss' cowering figure run toward the shadows with a lustful look on his face.

"What? Oh, umm, nothing." Gale said guiltily.

Peeta glared at him, unconvinced.

Suddenly, they heard a commotion around the neighborhood and police sirens in the distance.

"Oh shit, somebody called the cops!" Patch said.

"We need to warn them!" said Simon.

"Katniss!" yelled Peeta as he began running after her.

"I'll go after Alec!" said Jace as he ran out to find his parabatai.

"I guess I'll go get Magnus." added Will.

As the boys set out to find the Leaders, the police sirens began to sound closer and closer.

"I think they caught Magnus!" Isabelle said worriedly.

"Here come Katniss and Peeta!" Gale added as Peeta came back, carrying Katniss whilst trying to cover her with his coat.

"Put me down!" Katniss ordered angrily as she ran back inside the house to find her clothes, shoving Gale away in the process.

Peeta stopped outside the doorway along with the others while he tried to catch his breath.

"The police have arrested Magnus, and I don't know where Alec and Jace are!" said Peeta anxiously.

"Here they come," said Clary, who had uncovered her eyes along with the rest of her group.

Alec has wearing Jace's coat around his waist, and he approached the rest of the group angrily, with a worried Jace following along.

"Look what you guys did!" he yelled accusingly at the Show-Offs as he stormed angrily inside the house, crossing Katniss as she went back outside, fully clothed.

"I hope you're all satisfied." Katniss told Gale bitterly.

"This was all Magnus' fault, it was his party and he took the dare," said Jessamine defensively.

"Oh, so now you're defending Gale?" Katniss asked her skeptically.

"Who cares about that, we need to get Magnus out of jail!" Peeta ordered.

"Yes we do, and fast!" said Alec as he ran back outside to order a taxi.

"We'll go with you!" said Jace and Isabelle.

"Me too!" said Will as climbed in the taxi with them. And off they went.

"I guess we'll just have to wait here, then." said Peeta.

"Oh, I just hope they let him go!" exclaimed Tessa anxiously.

"We shouldn't have played this game in the first place; I shouldn't have suggested it!" said Clary guiltily.

"It's not your fault, we all wanted to play." Jace assured her while holding her tightly as they all went back inside the house to wait and hope for the best.


	5. We're Finally Screwed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized that I made a mistake on the last chapter and accidently sent Jace to two different places at once-whoops. Well, let me just clarify that he got on the taxi and went with Alec and Will to get Magnus out of jail, although I'm sure Clary would have preferred he stay with her LOL. Anyways, this is the last chapter! With that said… enjoy the epic finale!

Clary Fray closed the door behind her as everyone else either settled back inside the living room, or, in the case of the boys, rummaged Magnus' dangerously mysterious drinking bar. Patch came back inside the living room carrying a red bottle labeled "V-Drink" and a glass of it on the other hand. He grinned devilishly as Gale approached him carrying another bottle, this one red, and with the words "B-Drink" on its label.

"Patch, what are you drinking?" Nora asked him accusingly.

"I don't know, but it's a great buzz, you should try it, Angel." He answered flirtatiously.

"Maybe it's some sort of vampire drink, since it's labeled with a V. I wouldn't drink it if I were you guys, maybe it'll turn you into vampires." Simon said cautiously.

"Well this one is labeled with B instead of a V, does that mean it'll turn me into a sexy beast?" Gale asked as he winked at Jessamine, who giggled in response.

"Oh, stop it all of you, we're already in enough trouble, you guys shouldn't be drinking that stuff, Magnus must be really upset at us already!" chastised Clary.

"I agree with Clary, put the drinks back, now is not the time to get drunk," Jem accused.

"Well, I'm bored, so I'm trying it," Jessamine said as she grabbed a glass of Gale's B-Drink.

"Katniss, look what I found!" Peeta exclaimed excitedly as he came back from the bar carrying a bottle of yellow liquid labeled "P-Drink."

"Oh, how creative," said Katniss sarcastically as she Peeta poured her a glass. "Magnus has alcohol with all the colors of the rainbow  _and_  all the letters of the alphabet. Haymitch would love this."

"Well, maybe those letters stand for something," said Tessa warily.

"Well, whatever they are, they taste great!" said Nora, who had already been seduced into trying the V-Drink and had downed two glasses with Patch.

"You guys are in so much trouble!" warned Clary and Jem.

"Speaking of trouble, where are Gale and Jessamine?" asked Tessa.

Everyone instantly quieted, and after a few moments, they heard thumping and moaning sounds coming from the hallway.

"I guess the "B" stands for 'blowjob'," Patch noted as he took a peek at the hallway, then came back with a malicious grin as he approached Nora. "Hey, Angel, do you want to come to the kitchen with me to look for a remedy for these drinks?"

"Sure," said Nora, who looked rather embarrassed, along with everyone else. The thought of what Gale and Jessamine were doing in the hallway was a nasty prospect.

"Oh, that's just disgusting! That's it I'm going to hide in the library until Magnus comes back. Let me know when he does,' said Simon, who was followed by Jem, Clary, and Tessa.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me now," Peeta told Katniss.

"What do you think "P" stands for? I kind of regret drinking that now, although it was quite tasty," responded Katniss.

"I'm not sure I want to know anymore," Peeta said bashfully.

**-Meanwhile, at the police station-**

Magnus Bane was wearing an itchy gray blanket around his shoulders and a scowl on his face as one of the cops interrogated him.  _Stupid mundane,_ he thought. He was afraid of calling his lawyer for something as stupid such as this. Hopefully Alec would come soon to bail him out.

Just as he finished that thought, Alec, Jace, Isabella, and Will came storming into the police station, asking for him.

"I'm right here!" shouted Magnus.

Alec ran to him as Isabella and Jace paid the fee, with Will waiting behind them.

The officer who had been interrogating him released him from his handcuffs as Alec hugged him and handed him some clothes that he had brought for him.

"Let's get out of here," Magnus whispered into his ear right before he released him. Alec nodded grimly as Magnus headed towards the bathroom to change and depose of his itchy gray blanket.

Meanwhile, Isabelle and Jace finished signing the papers as Will convinced the cops into thinking that it was all just a mistake, that Magnus had been mugged and that that was why he had no clothes on when he was arrested.

"Sir, we're sorry for the inconvenience, we didn't realize who you were," one of the officers told Magnus as he came out of the bathroom, fully dressed.

"Yeah, you better be," said Magnus irritably as he left along with his rescuers. He was already in a foul mood, and he had already decided that when he came back to his house, he would kick everyone out and end the party for good.  _At least I'll get to keep the prizes for myself,_ he thought cheerfully.

**-Back at the House-**

"What in the world is that noise?" asked Tessa, feeling oddly disturbed.

"I honestly don't think you want to know," responded Jem grimly.

"Oh, it's probably just Gale and Jessamine again," said Clary, rolling her eyes.

"No, I think it's coming from the kitchen," Simon said.

"Well I hear it in the living room," said Tessa.

"You're all correct," said Jem. "Gale and Jessamine are busy in the hallway, Nora and Patch took over the kitchen, and Katniss and Peeta were left alone in the living room, all of them high on some sort of ecstasy drink."

"Oh, ewww they should get a room!" said Clary.

"They already did; nobody said it had to be a bedroom, though," responded Simon.

"Wait, I think, I hear the front door opening! Maybe Magnus is back!" exclaimed Tessa as she got up from her chair and headed towards the library door.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE? YOU DRANK MY ECSTASY DRINKS! THOSE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PRIZES, YOU FOOLS! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT _NOW_ , ALL OF YOU!" they heard Magnus roar furiously.

"Yeah, that's definitely Magnus," said Jem and Simon caustically.

"Oh, good, they're back!" said Clary as she headed out of the library along with Tessa, Jem, and Simon.

What they saw outside of it could not be described in words.

Magnus was standing at his doorway beside Alec, along with Isabelle, Jace, and Will, all of whom seemed somewhat amused at Magnus' demise.

Gale and Jessamine were scrambling as they searched for their clothing in the littered hallway, looking guilty and somewhat buzzed. Peeta and Katniss had been in the middle of having kinky sex in the living room, and were now trying to wipe off the whipped cream off of their faces (or at least they hoped it was whipped cream), as they searched for their clothes. Then Patch and Nora came back from the kitchen. They were both a mess. Nora's big, curly hair was more puffed up then ever, Patch was trying to hide a huge boner (haha), and their clothes were all wrinkled.

" **YOU DRANK MY VIAGRA DRINK?"**  shouted Magnus at Patch, who had now put a pillow above his enlarged crotch.

"Hey, it wasn't just me, Peeta drank the P-Drink and Gale took the B-Drink," said Patch defensively.

"You drink Viagra?" asked Alec, confused.

"Never mind that, Gale drank the blowjob drink and Peeta took my penis drink! What are we supposed to do for fun now, Alec?" Magnus asked exasperated.

"What's a Viagra?" asked Tessa.

"I think we should all get going," said Clary.

"Yeah, thanks for the party, Clary and I will be leaving now," Jace said as he and Clary headed out the door followed by Isabelle, Simon, Will, Jem and Tessa.

They all said their goodbyes as Patch and Nora headed towards the door.

"Not so fast," said Magnus. "You three couples," he said pointing at Patch, Nora, Gale, Jessamine, Peeta, and Katniss, "will be cleaning up this mess before you leave."

"Fair enough," said Peeta. And so began the long clean-up hour as Katniss looked around embarrassed along with Nora and Jessamine.

"So, does this mean that we accidently won the prize?" asked Patch as he finished cleaning.

"Out. Now," said Magnus as he led them all out the door.

As soon as they were all gone, Magnus closed the door behind him and sat down resignedly on the couch. Alec approached him while carrying a lime-green bottle labeled "E-Drink." Magnus grinned, and Alec winked at him as he poured a glass for both of them while sitting on his lap.

"They left the best for last," said Alec.

"The ultimate ecstasy drink!" exclaimed Magnus. Perhaps he just wasn't meant to sleep tonight. And so they partied on.

_ **The End.** _


End file.
